EATING OUT IN SILOAM SPRINGS, ARKANSAS
Part two - Street Carts - Roach Wagons - Mexican Restaurants & the run for the Baño ah Border.
There are four full time, quote “Tex-Mex, Mexican, Latin, El Salvadorian style,” unquote restaurants in the Siloam Springs area. There has been a number that have come an gone. I do not put such fast-food establishments such as Taco-Bueno, Taco-Taco, Taco-Bell, and other taco-con-lately in the mix above. The city of Siloam Springs will not let a “Street Cart” and or what is commonly referred to as a “Roach Coach” to set up inside the city limits to sell tacos, hot dogs, sandwiches or other street vendor type foods except for: The Dogwood Festival. The Dogwood Festival is a four or five day community event every spring where artisans from around the country come and pay a ridiculous fee (permit / tax) to sell crafts at ridiculously high prices. At this event, you will find a limited number of vendors selling the standard fare of carnival eatery.
Therefore, the preverbal roach-coach parks just about one-hundred feet from the Arkansas Border just inside the Oklahoma State line. Like I said Siloam Springs want let any carts, or coaches service patrons of their own city. I regress to an earlier rant but though the guidance and inspirational wisdom (insert your word here) of the Siloam Springs, Arkansas City Council our choices have been limited. Hey maybe someone just has not greasing the right palms yet. Oh my! Did I really say that?
El Cunado - West Siloam Springs, Oklahoma The El Cunado mobile coach is open after hours up until the wee hours of the morning. It has seating for about a dozen people at a small table under a pop-up style shelter. Servicing up a particular style what I fondly refer to authentic burros, which are tacos to most people, burritos, soft drinks, burgers, and other delicious roach coach amenities that one would typical find in a country, or regional street foods that you might find in East Los Angeles, South Phoenix, or Mexico itself.
Now for those who are offended by my colloquialism of food stereotypes; bugger off. I love spicy ‘Mexicano-type’ food. I have spent hours tracking down some of the best ethic foods in Southern California, and the Phoenix, Arizona metro-plex. I have eaten burros that were so delicious they were too die for topped with cilantro, peppers, and onions from street vendors in Phoenix, Arizona just off McDowell Boulevard close to downtown. Once some member of a film crew, and I had taken off for lunch while the studios waited on a camera to be fixed. We took off from the sound stages out west of Phoenix on the desert and headed down town to find some tasty food. We all stood around on the corner eating the most delicious little burros you could ever have. A low-rider shot down the far side of the street while a couple of chulos hung out the back window and showered the area with gunfire. The only thing that made me made was that I dropped one of my burros while diving behind the vendor’s metal cookery. I also used to find around noon a great little roach wagon just off Paramount Boulevard between Rosencrans Avenue, and Alondra Boulevard in Los Angeles; actually, it is in the City of Paramount, California. They had some great burritos that I swear were made with goat meat, which cost about two dollars and had to weight in somewhere around two or two and a half pounds. Rolled up in a massive homemade flour or corn tortilla they dripped with salsa and meat juices. Like I said, I have eaten some great ethnic food over the years, but I have not found any that can match many of these small entrepreneurial wizards of steam-cart delights.
The Brother in Laws taste of Mexico City has some great food at very affordable prices. The people who work in the coach and service you are very friendly, the service is fast, and the food is very good.
Ratings are one (1) being the worst, and ten (10) being the best.
Value = 8
Service = 8
Cleanliness = 7
Quality of Food = 8
Satisfaction = 8
Return factor = 9
Over all score = 8.00 (Thumbs Up - Well worth stopping and picking up a quick snack after a night at the Cherokee Casino, or when you have been out clubbing)
La Huerta Last week I ate out with a friend at my favorite Mexican Restaurant in Siloam Springs, Arkansas, named La Huerta. The name translates to “The Orchard.” They have a great item on the menu called the Pollo Loco or “Crazy Chicken.” Served up on a large ceramic platter a delicious mix of chicken breasts that have been flatten highly seasoned, and then grilled into a spicy delight for a hunger palate. Complimented by mounds of refried brown beans sprinkled with melted white cheese, Spanish-style rice, a freshly shredded lettuce salad, four to six hot soft flour tortillas, whole pickled jalapeno peppers, sliced limes, white onion, avocadoes, and tomatoes make up the main plate. A tub of crisp corn tortillas is first set on the table along with a hot tomato salsa spiced with assorted peppers, and cilantro. A tall glass of iced tea topped with a slice of lemon is always fresh, crisp, and delicious. All this for about $9.50 plus or minus including tax. Heck of a deal huh
?
Sometime back, I quit eating there because of the attitude of one of their waiters. A family member and I were eating there again, and once again, both of us were having the Pollo Loco dinner. Everything was going great until my son who had eaten a little over half of his food started picking hairs out of his rice. When asked, he informed me that he passed the first hair off, but now that he had found four more hairs in his food, and that he was through. I am not shocked easily because in my travels to some little known backward places on the globe I have eaten some disgusting items that have been disguised as food. I once sat on a riverbank with a half dozen Jivaro Indians in the Ecuadorian rainforest and ate monkey meat fresh off the fire. If you still have an appetite after watching you monkey being thrown on a fire, and worst off smell him roast until the entrails burst - - - - Well few things will effect you. I have eaten rat meat, dogs, cats, pigs, mountain oysters from bulls, hogs, and buffalos, Moose tongue, maggots, whale, suri worms, horses, chickens, cows, calves, snakes, insects, turtles, half-rotten eggs with steamed with whole chicken embryos inside, seals, walrus, MREs, fishes of all kind, giant snails, little bitty snails, mussels & clams from lakes, streams, and the ocean. I have endured an assortment of other disgusting gastronomical items if you were a vulture, not all of which were served up by good meaning peoples in utensils so dirty that most would not pass for a urinal in a civilized society. Most is given to you with the best of intentions and we smiled while eating it, and depending on how long it had been since you last ate, its good.
BUT! This day my appetite went south as the saying goes, plus I was paying for what should have been good, clean food. When the waiter finally came back and asked what the problem was with the meal he was informed that there were numerous hairs in both the refried beans, and Spanish rice. The waiter took the plate and held it very close to his face; he dug in the remaining food with a fork from the table, and examining the hair samples left on the side of the plate. A second employee joined him examining the plate, mumbled in Spanish before both laughed while looking at the food, and the hairs.
The waiter sat the plate down on the table before saying. “These look like your hair. How do you know they are not your hairs?”
WHAT!
He examined the plate in front of other customers seated nearby, and sitting it down had the cojones to say. ‘They look like your hair.’
I was floored. “How did you come up with that conclusion?” I asked.
He picked up the plate and hurriedly walked off in what seemed to both of us as a huff. You know what a huff is. It is that little attitude one gets when they have run out of explanations, or excuses for what is right, and in a mood of resentment for being questioned leave. Coming back shortly the waiter says that he will replace the meal with another one right now. Oooooooh, this is not a big decision here. First off once you have shown off the waiter as an uncaring duffus, the cooks or possible the servers not having the greatest record with personnel hygiene it is not a good idea to ask for a new plate of vittles. Oh, No! I'll pass on that one. So with the new plate of food declined, the waiter said he could not discount anything from the ticket because too much food had been eaten.
Getting up and going to the front of the restaurant or exit, I paid the full amount of the ticket, and vowed off ever eating at the La Huerta Mexican Restaurant again. Just as the best-laid plans of mice and men collapse around them, I felt the beckoning sirens song of refried beans, Spanish rice, and the rich spicy flavor of Pollo Loco as only La Huerta can make. Just as the songs of sea nymphs from mythical times lured sailors in their ships onto the rocks, I was beckoned from my travels along U.S. Highway 412 back into this den of flavorful cuisine, and epicurean desires.
Some more history here about eating out. When it is done right, you cannot find a better Tex-Mex dinner for your money than La Huerta in Siloam Springs. Nevertheless, all good things seem to end. My family, and I have been eating at the La Huerta Mexican Restaurant every since it opened it door some ten plus years ago the best I can remember. Between my self and my extended family, I would say it is safe to say that we eat out at La Huerta on an average of about ten times a month. This can be verified by my waistline. These visits do not count the occasional quick lunch such as the one that I am talking here. When our group averages about four people the check will normally run about $45.00 plus or minus not including tips, and taxes. When I first began patronizing this great little restaurant most of the waiters and some of the staff could not speak enough English to carry on a conversation passed hello, many seemed to be nervous of anyone with a suit, and that is not an exaggeration. That was back in the days when the décor was early white-trash slash Mexican wantabe with mismatched tables, and chairs. The atmosphere back then was fun, friendly, and overall a gastronomical delight of Tex-Mex foods. It was served up on mismatched plates with what looked to be a conglomerate of garage sale eating utensils. By the way, was the sub-title of this little rant insensitive on my part? Oooooh, I am sorry……………………….NOT!
Today we ate during the lunch rush hour. The luck of the draw gave us the same incompetent waiter (my opinion) as we had with during the hair pie experience. First off, I do not ask for constant attention, nor do I want the server to be hunched over the table like an undertaker at the old folk’s home asking how everything is over, and over, and over again. Gheeeeezzz! Go away.
The restaurant today was busy with an array of lunchtime customers coming an going. We sat down at fifteen minutes after twelve; I looked at my watch. We were served two extremely large plastic glasses of the most deliciously fresh iced tea you could imagine within minutes. Next a woman sat a plastic paper lined basket was set on the table heaped full of triangle cut corn chips. The chips were quickly followed up with a little three-legged bowl full of salsa made from tomatoes, hot green chilies, cilantro, and salt. This day however, the chips on the top were the camouflage as once that dozen or so were eaten the true nature of the gift was exposed; they looked to be a collection from the bottom of the bag. You know the ones that are broken into a gazillion little pieces and some of them are a different color than those that you are willing to eat. Okay when the waiter comes back we will ask for some more chips. With food being shuffled in all directions around us, we languished helplessly for about twenty-five minutes before a server whom one would have to assume works in the kitchen brought our food. It looked fantastic with a sprawling spread of spicy chicken, rice, beans, green salad, a generous pile of sliced avocadoes, tomatoes, onions, half a fresh lime, one whole jalapeño pepper, and a roll of flour tortillas on the side.
It was cold! Not warm, but cold. I made the statement that the green salad was warming that the rest of the food. My son agreed and slowly dug with waning enthusiasm into his food. I ate a couple of small pieces of the chicken, a fork full of the beans, rice, and finally a small piece from my avocado. I was hungry but I decided I was not going to eat the food. It was cold, the service had been late in coming as other around us who were seated later had already been served. My friend continued to eat sparingly from his plate committing about the food being cold also. Less than five minutes had gone by when I was able to get the attention of another waiter asking him to see if he could find our waiter I had not seen him since we ordered. Minutes later the person who had taken our order showed up and stood in a slightly defiant manner in front of our table. Explaining the problem he looked at my plate and then over at the other plate in front of my son. My son nodded and added that “yes” the food was cold. The man looked at the uneaten plate of food and said he would give me ten percent off on the meal. I wanted to explode I was so furious at his indifferent, and I might add condescending attitude. I told the waiter I wanted the name of the owner and how to contact him. This request met with a quick retreat, but moments later, a second employee whom I have seen numerous times stood to my table with the waiter. He informed me that he was the manager, and right off, the bat I noticed that he also seemed to have a burr under his saddle blanket. I have talked to the young man who said that he was the manager numerous times, and have always found his attitude towards the customer as polite, considerate, and helpful. He listened to my complaint and without reservation reaffirmed the waiters ten percent discount as the only recourse. I said I did not feel that was satisfactory and informed him I would decline his offer of ten percent off my meal, and that I would not being eating here anymore. “Okay.” He said as he spun on his heel leaving the table followed closely by his sidekick. I have talked to a number of people with stories lately, that are strictly hear say, but for me I will not be back for a long time if ever, and will not recommend this establishment to anyone. Therefore, here are the new ratings for La Huerta Mexican Restaurant of Siloam Springs.
Ratings are one (1) being the worst, and ten (10) being the best.
Value = 8
Service = -5 (I do not do give a minus very often, but this time it is necessary)
Cleanliness = 5 (Bathroom needs some work)
Quality of Food = 2 (I have to hold my nose to give them this due to our experience with the last visit)
Satisfaction = 2 (only because of the iced tea)
Return factor = 1
Over all score = 3.00 (Big thumbs down - Not worth your time at any cost until they get some new management in place that can clean up the service, and food quality)
My next meal will be La Hacienda Mexican Restaurant number one and two, and a visit to Los Amigos, and a fantastic little place I found named “Taqueria El Rancho.” Also check in for more misadventures with what is in my opinion the worst eating establishment in Siloam Springs.
The phantom diner.
Triton Moreno
